


Creek Secrets

by ravenklaw



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25198282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenklaw/pseuds/ravenklaw
Summary: Someone knows their secrets, and he wants a public disclosure. Or else.
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar, Victor Salazar/Benji Campbell
Comments: 79
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

Victor slams the door. Although it is not his intention, he cannot help feeling weirdly satisfied at this outburst. It would have been way sweeter if his parents had yelled their disapproval.

Instead it is the silence that meets the loud bang and does nothing but highlight his violent tendency. Hey, look at that. Him being gay is not his only imperfection after all. 

After changing into his sleeping clothes, he lies on his back on the bed, his arms folded behind his head. What now? 

_“Mom, dad, I’m gay.”_

This he recalls saying, which then followed by him taking a deep sigh of relief, as though he had been holding his breath for a long time. 

_“We need to address that tomorrow morning,” his dad said, putting a little emphasis on the word ‘that.’ “Maybe it’ll turn out we’re all just dreaming.”_

Oh, how he wishes. If only he can wish it away.

Except the part where he kissed Benji.

That was the part when he finally understood what Simon meant when he described it as the jet fighters flying over the Super Bowl, or like being hit by a huge wave.

The jet fighters that thundered in his ears were the sound that his heart made when his lips met Benji’s. And when his skin touched his, the heaviness that existed between them that constantly pulling them toward each other disappeared, only to be replaced by an encompassing force that wanted to meld them. Together. Like they are meant to be. Surrendering to it was so much easier, so blissfully intoxicating.

So natural.

So right. 

And after that taste of surrender, Victor was never the same again.

He sighs. 

Is it wrong to have this desire without hearing the voice of consternation that sounds so much like his parents’? His mind goes back again to that moment when he finally said the word.

_“I’m gay.”_

His dad looked like a man whose entire world was about to collapse around him. There was disbelief. There was fear. The disbelief, he can understand. But the fear in his father’s face…

This bothered him. 

It still bothers him. 

His mom was of no help. She just stared at him with eyes wide open and hands covering her mouth as if to prevent herself from screaming. 

It could be worst. 

There could be shouting, screaming, and his dad demanding him to leave immediately. But there was none of that. Maybe they are being understanding. Maybe they are being accepting.

Or maybe he should wait for his parents to come out of their shock before making any assumption that all is well? Or not well at all?

Despite not remembering when exactly he fell asleep, he opens his eyes to his name being called. He gets up and opens the door. 

“We need to speak to you, mijo,” his mother says. Her eyes look like she had been crying all night long. 

The knot in his stomach returns. 

"Okay,” he answers, nodding. 

His jaw clenches as he follows her to the kitchen. Are they going to ask him to leave now? Will Benji let him stay in his house? He doubts Benji’s father will welcome him. It really does feel like facing his execution. Medieval style. His parents’ words were the ax poised to his neck. He is expecting the ax to drop and cut his head. Anytime now. 

His father opens his mouth to deliver his verdict. Victor braces himself.

“Victor, I’m sorry,” his father says while tears fall down his cheeks. “It’s my fault.” His father sobs, devoid of machismo, which is something very much so unlike him. 

Victor’s mouth hangs open. This reaction he least expects. 

“It’s our fault,” her mother joins, crying as well. 

“I’ve not been a good father to you.”

“And I’ve not been a good mother. I cheated on our marriage. And now…” she stops only to sob even harder.

Seated between them, Victor alternately shifts his glances between his parents. What exactly are they saying? 

His mother wipes the tears on both her cheeks only for her eyes welling up again. 

“God’s punishing us,” she says, her voice breaking.

“We’ve decided that,” his father starts, putting his elbow on the table, his palm propping his head up, and his face was heartbreakingly red. “That…your mom and I should stop being selfish. And that we’ll both raise you and your siblings together as family.”

“This is a wake up call for us, mijo,” her mother adds. “Thank the Lord, He did not give you cancer. Mi amor, I wouldn’t be able to take it.” Then her shoulders shake with another bout of sobs. 

Victor’s eyes begin to mist when what they were saying finally dawns on him. 

“You mean…that me…being gay…is a God’s punishment?”

“Mi hijo, we’ve sinned. A carnal sin. And because of it, we’ve been punished,” she says, her voice fading its strength.

“But we’ll not forsake you. This is only a test of our strength. We’ll make it through this, we’ll stop being selfish and start being good parents,” his dad says. 

Confusion. 

Guilt. 

“So what do you want me to do?” he asks. “I can’t stop being gay, dad, mom. I can’t.” Then he too breaks down in tears. 

And just when he thinks his strength leaves him, he finds himself engulfed in his parents’ warm embrace. 

“Victor,” his father whispers to him. “No matter what, we will not abandon you.”

“We love you,” his mother says. 

Then he cries once more because despite what his parents think of him being gay, the sincerity is there. And their love? It is ever strong. 

* * * 

**One Week Later.**

To his family, Victor is out. At school, he remains closeted. But this does not stop him from kissing Benji. They are dating now, though secretly—that is. And Mia? She is still not talking to him. Lake does not know. She does not know the real reason why her friend is giving Victor the cold shoulder. Lake asked him once. He said nothing. He stayed mum. Again. 

“Victor, we have an emergency,” Felix says, suddenly appearing in front of him. Well, he was clearly not paying attention to not see him coming. 

“Oh, hi, Felix?”

It’s still early that there are not many students loitering in the hallway. Without answering him, Felix grabs him by the arm and leads him farther down the hall. Ok, there goes his plan of seeing Benji before his first class.

“Felix, wait,” he says, trying to get his friend to slow down.

“We’re running out of time, Victor. We need to solve this before the bell rings.” Felix then pushes the door to the music room and steps into it. Victor follows him , rather reluctantly. 

“Hey,” he says, a little annoyed. “Can you tell me what’s this about?”

“Why is he here?” says the familiar voice. 

Victor winces inwardly. He turns around and meets the cold stare of his once girlfriend. Mia. Leaning against the wall beside her is Lake. 

“Mia, I’m so sorry,” he says.

“Not now, Victor,” Mia answers, shooting him a piercing gaze before looking away. “I’m not in any position to handle any of your….” She pauses. “Just not now.”

There’s something in Mia’s voice. And in her eyes, beneath the anger in it, lurks…

Fear?

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“You shouldn’t be here, Victor,” Mia says, staring at the floor.

“It’s my idea,” Lake says. “I know that Victor is a persona non grata to you but he’s a better option than Andrew, at least in terms of getting out of a escape room.” Lake shifts her gaze toward him and glares. “You’re still not forgiven.”

“Right,” Felix says. “Victor, we need to approach this as cautiously and smartly as we can. Four heads are better than one.”

“So squad, what are we going to do?” Lake says. 

“I’d say, let’s just keep it on the down-low first,” Mia says. “While we figure out who else gets the text.”

“What text?” Victor says. 

Honestly? He still has no idea what his friends were talking about. His phone buzzes inside his pants pocket. His friends all stare at him. Their gazes are intense. Unnerving. 

“It’s just a text, guys,” he says. “Might not be important.”

“Read it!” Mia says, her voice a little high pitched. 

“Okay,” he replies. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and swipes his finger across the screen to see the text message. 

“Did it say from Creek Secrets?” Lake asks, looking anxious. In fact, his friends all look anxious. Even Felix.

He looks down on his phone and read. 

“Yes?” He scrunches up his face in confusion. 

“What does it say?” Mia asks.

He reads the message. Aloud. The hair stands up on the back of his neck. Silence reigns among them. Eerily. Deafening. Mia is the first one to recover her voice.

“That’s the same one I got.” 

“So the target is not just Mia, but also you, Victor. How come Lake and I don’t get one?” 

“I swear to you, Victor, it wasn’t me. I didn’t write it,” Lake says.

“If it was you, then we would have seen you texting him,” Felix says. 

“Well, the text could have been scheduled to be sent at a certain time,” Lake answers. Realizing what she insinuates, she adds, “Which I did not! I swear to the Gucci god. I meant Christian. Oh, I don’t know!” 

Victor stares back at the message on his phone and re-reads it. 

**:: I know your secret. Spill it or else say goodbye…Bang, bang!**  
**Love, Creek Secrets ::**


	2. Chapter 2

“Have you all talked to,” Victor says, stopping himself to take a big gulp of air.”You know, Andrew?” This idea that sprang to mind earlier sounded good then. And now? It doesn’t sound good anymore if the disapproving expression mirrored on each of his friend’s face is any indication. Since backtracking is no longer an option, he might as well finish this to give a context to his assumption, and so he explains, “He may-be playing pranks on us?”

Mia narrows her eyes. 

“Andrew may be an asshole, but he’s not that asshole.” The tone in her voice brooks no argument, making Victor regret why he did not consider ending his speech with ‘sike.’

“I agree,” Felix says.

“Yeah, it doesn’t sound like Andrew,” Lake adds. 

It is clear as day that a line has been drawn between two sides. One is team Andrew, and another team Victor where he is a sole member. If Benji were here, he would have been on his side. Thinking about Benji makes his heart flutter.

Felix glances in Mia’s direction and then at him. “Who else knows about you two and your secrets? Maybe we should start from there?” 

“Definitely, that,” Lake says. “Who else knows about what you both are keeping from us?”

Mia glances his way as though communicating to him that the ball is on his court. 

“Uh, my sister Pilar,” he answers. 

“What about Benji?” Mia suggests.

He crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Well, Andrew knows too.” 

“Here we go again, back to Andrew,” Mia says. She now sounds irritated. “Why are you so eager to pin this on him?”

“I’m not,” he answers. “But I’m pretty sure, it’s not Benji.”

“Wait a minute?” Lake interrupts. “What’s the tea about Benji? How did he get involve in this? Give it to me, guys. I’m here for it.”

Mia suddenly finds the wall to her right interesting while Felix stares at the ceiling. This leaves Victor the only one left to hold Lake’s curious gaze. He opens his mouth to speak but decides to swallow his reply instead. Awkward silence reigns. He tries again. He opens his mouth and then the bell rings. Lake presses her lips tight, her eyes sharp on him as if saying ‘this conversation is not over.’ The door in the room opens, and the students start coming in. 

“We have to go,” Victor says and walks out of the room. He splits from the group to go to his gym class.

In the locker room, he sends Benji a quick ‘hi’ and ‘miss you’ text. His phone beeps just when he is putting his socks. 

Benji: **Miss u more.**

He texts back: **See u at wor** k? ::3 heart emojis::

Benji: **Can’t wait** ::smiling face with heart-eyes emojis::

“Why are you smiling like that, Salazar? Are you getting laid tonight?”

Victor turns his attention to the voice and sighs. Andrew Spencer is staring at him with a knowing smirk. Since Andrew knows about him and Benji, there’s no use denying it, right? 

“Here’s hoping I’ll get lucky. Promise, you’ll be the first to hear about all the gory details,” he says, nodding with some slice of smugness. 

“Save it,” Andrew scoffs, taking his shirt off and changes into his basketball uniform. 

Victor remembers the earlier conversation he has with his friends. Just because they think Andrew is incapable of pulling off this threat stunt, he is not above suspicion. Victor will be the judge of that, so he decides to keep a sharp eye on him. 

He dribbles the ball, jumps and throws it into the net. The coach applauds. He glances toward Andrew’s way, and the latter nods an approval. 

“Nice shot, Salazar,” Andrew says. 

He responds with a small smile. 

Five minutes later, the coach sends them back to the locker. Victor just finishes changing into his regular clothes when his phone buzzes. A smile tugs at his lips as he anticipates it coming from Benji. He pulls his phone out from inside his jacket and checks the message. His brows draw together. 

**::Do you want to know who DJ F-bomb is? That one act that flopped so hard in the battle of the band? Link here…Love, Creek Secrets::**

Chuckles reverberate in the locker room. Victor sweeps his gaze over his teammates who are huddled together while looking at their phones. Andrew breaks away from the group and veers his attention to him. 

“Have you seen this?” Andrew asks, grinning a little. 

Victor looks back on his phone and presses the link on the message. It takes him on an Instagram account that has the name Creek Secrets. On the page, he sees a picture of someone whose entire head is covered with a huge bomb. Tagged on the picture is the name Felix Weston.

“Oh, my god, Felix,” he says to himself. 

“More secrets to come only here on Creek Secrets,” Andrew reads loudly. “Looks like Lake just outed her close friend.” Andrew flicks a meaningful gaze at him at the word ‘outed.’ Then he smirks at Victor and says, “I wonder who’s next?” 

Victor rolls his eyes. 

“It’s not even funny,” he says and then stalks out of the room. 

*** * ***

  
Felix is already in the classroom seated beside Lake when Victor enters the classroom. He looks in Mia’s direction, and she greets him with a nod. Since his assigned seat is in the front row, he decides to communicate with Felix through his phone. Sitting down, he sneaks him a text: **Are you okay?**

Felix texts back: **Is this about the Creek Secrets insta? I’m embarrassed, and thoroughly humiliated. But then I get a lot of people calling me F-bomb, so a win, I guess?**

He texts back: **It’s still shitty that it happened to you.**

A text from Lake comes in, saying: **It’s not me, Victor.**

He answers: **I know.**

Then unexpectedly he receives one from Mia: **We’ll figure it out.**

He glances up from his phone and finds Mia staring at him with a smile that, though tight-lipped, still looks genuine. 

“You’re late,” the teacher hollers. 

Victor turns to the door. Andrew walks in, looking a little upset.

“Sorry,” Andrew says to the teacher.

“Get your butt in your seat and read the board for directions.”

Victor may not have been paying attention too as he also just notices the directions written on the board. It says about answering pages on his class workbook. 

The time flies quickly when you’re rushing to get your work done says Victor’s mind. He fails to answer all the questions when the bell rings. 

“Want to join us for lunch?” Mia says to him. 

To him. Is he simply imagining things?

Caught-off guard to such sudden turn of events, though this one is very much welcome, he says, “Sure.”

Despite what happened earlier, things seem to be looking up as Victor chats with Mia. 

“So you two are friends again?” Lake says, sitting across from them beside Felix.

He gives Mia a look that suggests he wants her to respond to it.

“There’s no point in holding grudges,” Mia says. She looks up and then waves. “Hey, Andrew, over here.”

Victor moves his chair to the left and Mia moves hers to give Andrew a room at their table. When the conversation begins to pair up—that is, Felix and Lake, and Andrew and Mia—Victor feels a pang in his chest. Why can’t he not share a lunch with Benji, speaking of which he’s still in constant watch as to when his boyfriend will walk into the cafeteria. 

“At the door, to your left,” Andrew says, making Victor jump a little. 

He follows Andrew’s line of sight and smiles. Benji is standing at the door, looking like an angel who is a little confused on whether or not he would join the humans in the mundane task such as eating. 

“Go ahead,” Mia says. “Invite him here.”

Victor feels a warmth creeping through him. Simple words, yet they bring him such sense of elation. He waves at Benji with a wide smile. Benji meets his eyes and saunters toward them.As Benji nears, Victor’s heartbeat races.

“Hi,” Benji says to the group.

“Hi, Benji,” Lake answers, smiling. “Come, sit beside me.”

Benji walks past him and pats his shoulder. The touch is light, yet enough to send shivers down his spine.

“Do you mind if we take a selfie together?” Lake says. She does not wait for Benji to reply and proceeds to take a picture of them together. Felix furtively glances his way. Victor gives him a reassuring nod. 

“I’m posting this on Creeksecrets to confuse everybody,” Lake continues saying, while she thumbs the screen on her phone. And then looking as though she finally realizes what her words may sound like, she hurriedly adds, “The…the tumblr, guys, not the insta, that one is run by someone who seems to know everybody’s phone number.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Andrew says, shifting the heat away from Lake. 

“And how the hell did they even know it was me in F-bomb costume,” Felix says. “Do I have a stalker?”

Victor turns his attention toward Benji who at that moment is setting his lunch on the table: apple and salad. He once asked him why he does not eat anything else at lunch time. Benji’s answer was because he has a heavy breakfast every morning. 

“So what were you all talking about someone knowing everybody’s phone?” Benji asks before taking a bite of his apple, his lips glisten, making them look redder and fuller. Victor feels the warmth spreading his face. His throat suddenly feels tight and dry. And his mind starts to wander to those times he had kissed those lips. Victor swallows at the stirring of his nerve-endings. He has to stop this lewd thought. He cannot be having a hard-on right there in the cafeteria while sitting with his friends. 

“Hey, Victor,” Mia says, shaking him from his daze. 

“Huh?” he answers. It’s the best he can muster. 

“Did you know that Benji didn’t get the text this morning?”

Victor has to physically shake his head to get himself to focus back on the conversation. “Is that the one about…”

“About the DJ F-bomb,” Mia says, interrupting him. 

A little confused, he turns to Mia who seems to be doing her best to communicate with him telepathically, which kind of impossible to do. Then belatedly, it dawns on him. Mia doesn’t want Benji to know about the threat they received from seemingly the same source as the one from Instagram account. 

Looking in Benji’s direction, he says, “You didn’t get one?”

“No,” Benji says, shaking his head. “Whoever did this must not know my number.” Then he glances down at his food and starts eating his salad.

Then all of sudden a cacophony of phones going off startles everybody into checking their phone messages. 

“What is it now,” Andrew says amid the confusion.

Victor taps the screen on his phone to read the message and stiffens. A gnawing dread settles in the pit of his stomach. His gaze finds Benji’s. 

“What the fuck is this?” Andrew says. “Now this is clearly stalking.”

Benji looks confused. 

“You didn’t get one?” Victor asks the same question he just a while ago asked. He means to make his voice soothing, yet it comes out sounding worried. 

Benji shakes his head, looking visibly anxious at all the stares he is getting from the students. 

“Here, look at mine,” Lake offers her phone to Benji.

Victor stares at the image on his phone again. It is a picture of Benji in the school hallway with a caption: **where does Benji Campbell got his nice bracelet. Depends on the kind. But that brown leather waxed cord bracelet is given by granny dearest.**

Then on a picture a certain shop is being tagged, which Victor assumes is where the bracelet was bought. He and Benji have been secretly dating about a week now, and not once did it occur to Victor to ask where those bracelets came from. He should have asked because by the look on Benji’s face, they clearly mean so much to him. 

Benji rises from his chair. Victor gets up as well and walks toward his side. 

“Hey,” he says. He gently cups his face in his hands, no longer caring what the gesture would look like to the people who are closely watching them. “Focus on me. Okay?”

Benji takes a deep breath and stares at him. Benji’s eyes are brimming with unshed tears. Victor needs to take him away from curious gazes. 

“Let’s go,” he says. With his hand wrapped around Benji’s wrist, he leads him out of the cafeteria. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Self-edited. I know, not an excuse.

Victor moans. Embarrassingly. 

With his back against the wall and his arms wrapped around Benji’s waist, he pulls him close to him the tightest he can get and deepens their kiss. He knows that talking should have been what they are supposed to be doing now. But his mind and body do not seem to share the same idea. His mind says ‘stop.’ His body says ‘more.’ 

When the need for oxygen becomes a necessity, Victor gathers all his strength to tear his mouth at least an inch away and then presses his forehead against Benji’s.

“Don’t we need to talk first?” he says, gasping for breath. 

Benji stiffens in his arms. 

“About what?” Benji asks, his voice tight and thick with emotion. 

Victor loosens his grip and pushes him a little, just enough to get a clear view of Benji’s face. He rests his palm on his cheek. 

“Tell me,” he whispers. “Anything. Anything that is not a lie.”

Benji meets his gaze, seemingly assessing Victor’s mood. Victor stares back at him with sincerity, hoping that Benji can see on Victor’s face how much he cares about him. 

With a slight quirking of an eyebrow, Benji lightly shoves him in the chest with both hands in an attempt to untangle himself from him. Victor releases him, rather reluctantly. Can’t they talk with their arms around each other?

Benji takes a few steps back, his hand playing with the bracelet around his wrist, his gaze to the floor. 

“My grandma liked giving me bracelets. She said it suited me,” Benji starts, a hint of a smile in his voice. “She bought them to support the fight against cancer. Her mom had one and died from it. When I came out to my parents, my mom started drinking again.” He huffs. “Yes, Victor, the apple did not fall far from the tree. But it was grandma who took care of me since then, supported me, and gave me this bracelet to remind me that I’m strong and to not give up.” He looks up and stares at him. Victor can see on his face that he is struggling to control his emotion. “She said that I should wear them to remind myself that she loved me and that she would always be there for me. She died two months ago.”

Victor can’t take it anymore. He covers the distance between them and pulls him back to him. Benji presses his cheek on Victor’s chest. Victor tries to think of things to say, but he has never been eloquent. 

Benji lifts his head and looks at him. 

“I don’t feel like going to my next class,” he says.

Victor chuckles. 

“Me too.”

Victor feels his phone vibrates in the pocket of his jacket, reminding him that they still have a mystery to solve. Can he just ignore it? Oh, so tempting. 

“It might be your friends, looking for you.” 

He sighs. Thinking that maybe Benji is right, he fishes it out of his pocket. As it turns out, it isn’t a text but is a call. 

From Mia. 

“Hello?” 

“Victor, where are you?” Mia says on the other line.

With his arm still around Benji, Victor turns to him for the answer. This room is their secret place. Will Benji ready to share its location? 

Benji shakes his head. 

Victor understands.

“Where are you and I’ll meet you there instead,” he says to Mia on the phone. 

“We have a sub-teacher for our last class. We’ve decided to skip it, so if you can, find a way to sneak out of school. Let’s meet at Brasstown, we’re heading there now.”

* * * 

  
“So Wendy came to you and told you this?” Victor says. 

He is sitting between Felix and Benji. Across from them are Mia, Lake, and Andrew. Benji prefers to sit near the aisle, so he can easily get out anytime he wants. At least that is what he told him. And Victor doesn’t want to sit anywhere he can’t put his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders or waist. Victor knows how clingy he has become. His only hope is that Benji doesn’t mind it. Fingers crossed? 

“We have an hour before our shift starts,” Benji says to Victor. His voice is so soft it makes Victor breathless. 

“So, are we just going to take Wendy’s word for it?” he asks the group, fighting off a sudden onset of light headiness. 

“Wendy really looked sincere with her apology,” Felix says. “She never meant it to appear as if she was stalking Benji. The pictures she took were all random shots showing the everyday life at Creekwood High.”

“And Benji is in that everyday life,” Lake says, smiling. “That’s some artistic license she took there because the truth is, there’s just not enough of Benji sightings at Creekwood.”

“What?” Benji says, his brows knitted together. “Are you saying—”

“Yes, Benji,” Lake finishes for him. “I meant exactly what I said.”

Benji looks offended. “For your information, I only have a few absences this year. And you don’t see me all the time because I’m always rushing to get to work and don’t have time loitering in the hallway.”

“Hello, your explanation just proved my point.”

“Lake, why do you even know this about Benji?” Mia asks, frowning. 

“I got my sources,” Lake answers, smirking. 

“Maybe your sources can help us find who hacked Wendy’s account,” Andrew says. “That would be helpful and much better than gossiping about someone else’s life.” 

This Victor can agree on. He appreciates that Andrew is getting the conversation back on track. 

“Andrew, that’s a smart idea,” Lake answers. “But my sources? They don’t have that skill set.”

“So, Felix, you’re saying?” Victor says, giving his friend the chance to continue talking. 

“I see what you did there,” Felix says. “Anyway, Wendy was looking for Benji to say sorry. Since Victor and I are best friends, I told her she is forgiven.”

“It’s Benji’s she’s asking not yours,” Andrew points out.

“Well, since Benji and Victor are dating, then I’m now in a three-way friendship with them, then I get the privilege to speak for them when they are not around.”

A chorus of gasps follows Felix's words. Victor’s heart drops. His mouth falls open. Felix remains looking oblivious to what he just revealed. 

“Hang on,” Lake says, her jaw comically drops. “Did you just say, Victor and Benji are dating?”

Victor shoots Felix an incredulous look. Felix looks equally incredulous himself, like he could not believe it himself what he just said. What he just did. That he just outed Victor to Lake.

“Oh, that,” Felix says, tongue-tied. 

Victor swallows. It’s now or never. Everybody in the group knows. Except for Lake. So this would be easy. Right? 

“Lake, I’m gay,” he says. 

He feels Benji’s hand squeeze his leg. 

Lake covers her open-mouth with both hands and then move them to cup her own cheeks. Everybody just seems to silently agree to give Lake a moment to recover from her shock. It will take a minute. Then what feels like longer than a couple of minutes, Lake finally turns to Mia. 

“That’s why you’re suddenly mad with him?” Then to Victor, she says, “And you came out to her? But wait…it shouldn’t be something to be mad about unless you…” She doesn’t have to ask Victor because Mia’s misty eyes make it clear what transpired. “You cheated on her?” Then she repeats with more clarity. “You cheated on her.” She glares at Victor. “You cheated on her!” 

He can take her anger as long as it is not directed at Benji. 

“I didn’t mean it to happen like that, Lake,” he says. “I care about Mia. It’s just…I’ve been struggling to make sense of what I am, who I really am and I thought being with Mia would make me more normal.”

“So…you and Benji?” Lake’s gaze shifts to Benji. “I thought I was just imagining when I started to notice how Victor was so touchy-feely with you…and why you, Benji, is now hanging out with us quite often. You two together are cute, hot even, but still, it’s very disrespectful. Very disrespectful. Hurtful. Mean.” She faces Mia again. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”

“It’s okay,” Mia answers. “I’m okay now. I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” Felix says. “I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that.”

“Well, things happened,” Victor says. “The truth would have come out anyway, if not today then sooner.”

As Lake hugs Mia and as they have their moment, Victor turns his attention to Benji who keeps himself quiet the whole time. He reaches up and caresses Benji’s cheek. Benji smiles at him, the kind he only reserves for Victor, the kind that makes Victor swoon, and thinks how lucky he is. 

“Still,” Andrew says, breaking the silence. “Felix, it’s not your place to say anything at all.”

“I know, I know—”

“I meant, Wendy was asking for Benji. So it’s not your place to forgive her.”

“Oh, that.”

“And, please, Felix, don’t ever mention we’re in a three-way kind of friendship…it just sounds…weird,” Victor says, smiling at his friend.

Benji chuckles beside him. “Okay, just so I understand what you’re saying. The picture of me on the insta-secret-whatever-account was hacked from Wendy’s e-portfolio? That’s like an online picture album, right?”

“Right,” Andrew answers. “So it means, this creek secret person is hacking the Creekwood students’ either social media accounts or online websites.”

“But it still doesn’t explain how they know the students’ phone numbers,” Mia says.

“Except mine,” Benji replies. 

“Do you think it’s someone from school?” Victor suggests. “Someone good with computers?”

“Maybe?” Felix says.

“So, I guess, we should do a little digging on who in school is a computer wiz?” Victor suggests.

“I can ask from the guys in the basketball team,” Andrew offers.

“I’ll do the same with my fellow bloggers,” Lake says. 

“I know some people to ask,” Mia chimes in.

“I’ll talk to Wendy,” Felix says. “She might know some people considering it’s her insta they hacked.”

Then they all turn to Benji. Benji rests his elbow on the table.

“I don’t really talk much with anyone from Creekwood, but if I’ll have to then I’ll try asking.”

“Good,” Victor says, slipping an arm around his shoulders.

“We’re like the Scooby-doo gang,” Felix says, punctuating the discussion. ”I’m definitely Shaggy.” 

No one says anything to encourage Felix’s line of thinking. Benji gets up and Victor follows him. 

“We’re staying a little while,” Mia says. “Can I get a latte?”

“Americano for me,” Andrew says. 

“Dirty chai double espresso for me, please,” Lake says. 

“I’ll get what she’s having,” Felix says, referring to Lake’s order.”It sounds good.”

“Alright,” Benji replies. “I’ll pretend I remember each of your orders.”

“Let me write it down,” Victor says. He pulls a pen out of his bookbag when suddenly his phone buzzes. 

“Shit,” Andrew says. 

They are all looking at their phone now, but Victor takes a couple of seconds to get his out. And just when he is about to open his message, it slips out of his hand and onto the floor. He bends down to pick it up. Sighing, he thumbs the screen to open it and locates the text. 

His stomach rolls. 

His heartbeat races. 

Gripping his phone so tight, Victor stares at the words on the screen. 

**::Who is still in the closet? Click here to know. :) Love, Creek Secrets:** :


	4. Chapter 4

**::Who is still in the closet? Click here to know. :) Love, Creek Secrets::**

Victor’s finger hovers over the link. To click or not to click. That is the question. Is he making Shakespearean reference now when he has read none of the books? Might as well as his life is about to hit a Shakespearean level of tragedy. Come tomorrow, the whole school is going to know that he, Victor Salazar, is—

“Victor?” 

Benji’s voice interrupts his internal monologue. 

“We need to clock in.”

He frowns. Clock in? Is that all what Benji can think about when Victor is in extreme panic mode? 

“Hang on,” Felix says, "I’ll put you on speaker.”

Benji grips Victor’s wrist, and his hazel eyes widen in alarm. “Don’t do it in here. We have other customers?” When Felix still looks confused, Benji adds, “Not inside the shop?”

Felix makes a funny face. “I see. Outside then.”

“Just talk to Wendy,” Mia urges. “Now, Felix.”

“Oh, right. Hello, Wendy? What? Oh, okay. We’ll be coming over there like right now.” He then hangs up. “Yes, she’s still in the school. She got herself locked in the school chemistry storage room.”

“So, not really closet?” Mia asked. 

Victor shakes his head, feeling like he had missed an entire conversation. What’s going on? Aren’t they supposed to be talking about him being outed? Completely? He turns to Benji for clarification. Benji nudges him.

“Check your phone.”

And Victor does, clicking the link he was a while ago was terrified to do. A picture pops up on the screen of his phone that makes his eyes bulge in disbelief. Someone is, indeed, in the closet still. And it is not Victor. It’s Wendy. Stuck in a literal closet.

And he exhales. 

His secret? 

Still safe.

* * * 

  
Victor flips the open sign to closed and peers through the glass door. It is already dark outside. If he and Benji finish up early, they may be able to hang out a little while. The where does not matter to him. Anywhere with Benji is just fine. He is about to go back to the counter and help Benji in cleaning up when something catches his eye. He opens the door just to see it a little clearer. It looks like a hooded man standing right across the street. What tickles his curiosity is that this man appears to be looking directly at him. Might be nothing, but he admits that with what’s going on around he has become a little paranoid. Just a little. The man lights a cigarette. His face is well-hidden by the night’s shadow. Setting his worry aside, Victor gets back inside and closes the door. He turns on his heel but is halted by a pair of strong arms that wraps around his waist, followed by a kiss on his neck. 

“Hmmm…nice.”

“There’ll be more if you actually help me clean up,” Benji said, taking his arms off him. Victor mumbles a complaint, but Benji is already walking away from him.

Victor follows him to the counter. 

“Don’t you think we should hang out a little longer after this?”

With a water spray bottle in his hand, Benji asks, “Where do you want us to go?” His hazel eyes are gleaming; his smile, wide and easy; his cheeks, red.

Victor holds his gaze and licks his lips. His stomach is doing a triple-somersault. He tugs Benji closer to him and wraps his arms around his waist.

“Well, what about—”

“In my house,” Benji says. He leans into Victor’s ear and whispers. “My dad’s out of town.”

Victor gulps and kisses him on the lips. When he feels Benji’s tongue slide inside his, soft and wet, it obliterates any pretense he has that going to Benji’s house is only about hanging out.

He moans, drowning in the sensation. They are like this for god knows how long, so engrossed in each other that, when a sound pierces through the fog of their arousal, they fail to register what it is and where it originated. Benji is the first one to pull away. 

“What was that?”

Victor on the cusp of retaking his clarity shakes his head. 

“It sounded—”

“Loud,” Benji finishes. 

“Yes, that.”

Benji takes in his surroundings. 

“There.” He points at the door.

Victor follows him. 

“Can you believe this?” Benji asks.

Victor studies the door. The glass part of the door is shattered. And that feeling that Victor buried a while ago, like having a rock lodged in his stomach, returns full force. Speaking of rock, Benji speaks what Victor is thinking at that moment. 

“Somebody threw a rock at the door and shuttered the glass. Let me call a cop.” Benji dials his phone. 

Victor holds the doorknob.

“Don’t open it,” Benji says. “Whoever did this may still be outside.”

This is precisely Victor’s purpose, and he has a good idea of who might this person be. The hooded man he saw earlier. Victor surveys outside through the hole of the broken glass.

However, the street looks empty. 

“Cops will be arriving in a few minutes,” Benji says, his voice soft. “You can help me clean the shards to keep yourself occupied.” 

Victor studies Benji’s movement. Aside from the pallor on his face, Benji appears calm and collected. 

“I’ll get the broom and the dustpan,” he says to Victor, padding toward the counter and disappears into the back room. He comes back with the cleaning tools. 

“Who do you think they were?” Victor asks, holding the dustpan while Benji is sweeping the pieces of broken glasses into it. 

“I have no idea.”

“Have you experienced this kind of incident before?”

“No, not really.”

They dump the shards into the black bag. 

“Let me throw this first in the dumpster,” Benji says.

“I’ll go with you.”

Using the back door, they step out into the dark alley. It is a chilly night, but with less air. Victor snatches the trash bag from Benji’s hand and throws it into the dumpster. Benji looks offended by the gesture, but Victor only gives him a sweet smile. The sweetest he can muster. They step back inside and Victor immediately notices something feels different. The front door slams shut as though someone just stormed out. 

“Did you see it?” Benji asks. 

Victor runs to the door and opens it, hoping to catch whoever this intruder is. But once again, what greets him is an empty street. 

When the cops arrive, they give their statement. Each one of them trying to piece together what happened. 

“We didn’t really see anything,” Benji says. 

“But we believed someone came when we were at the dumpster throwing the trash out,” Victor adds.

Officer Barkley, who earlier introduced himself to them, writes their words on his notepad. 

“Do you know of anyone who may do this?”

Benji shakes his head. “I’ve worked here longer than Victor, and we did not have this kind of violence in the shop. Oh, shit, Sarah. I have to call her.”

“Have you noticed something unusual before this incident?” Barkley asks Victor while Benji talks to Sarah on the phone. 

“Well, there is one,” Victor answers. Barkley narrows his eyes on him. Victor gulps and then continues, “I saw this guy in a hoodie standing across from the shop. I couldn’t see his face, but I’m pretty certain he’s looking right at us. Or at me.”

“What were you doing again when it happened?” the officer asks.

“We were…” Victor stammers. “We were kissing.”

The officer writes something on the note, which Victor wonders how relevant that information is. 

“I asked because,” the officer says, staring into him. “The way that door shattered did not look like it was caused by a rock thrown.”

Victor frowns. 

“What do you mean?”

“Andy, did you find anything?” Barley calls his fellow officer who Victor just noticed is bent down as if he were trying to reach something under the table. 

“Got it.”

“Bring it here.”

Andy gets up and brushes off his uniform before he approaches them. 

“Here,” Andy says as he holds up something to show them. 

Victor stares at the object in Andy’s hand. His heartbeat thrashes in his ears. His jaw clenches. 

“What’s the matter?” Benji asks, joining the huddle. 

Victor watches as Benji’s eyes widen finally seeing what gets Victor transfixed. 

“It’s a—”

“A bullet,” Andy finishes for Benji. 

“Someone tried to shoot you through that door.”

Barkley’s words ring in Victor’s ears. Then coming from the recesses of his mind, another message resurfaces. The one that has haunted him. The one that he is trying to forget. The one that sounds so similar to what transpired this evening. The one that he received in his text. 

**I know your secret. Spill it or else say goodbye…**

**Bang, bang!**

That last two words. It happened while he and Benji were kissing.  
  
Victor’s secret.

He can tell them. He can tell the cops. But then comes the text. Victor pulls his phone out and reads his message. His heart stops. 

“So once again, is there anything you want to tell us that will shed light on what happened here? Because I’m telling you, this appears deliberate and is professionally done,” the officer says.

Victor shakes his head.

“I have nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Here.” The officer gives them a calling card. “Don’t hesitate to call us if something comes up.”

“Victor, are you okay?” Benji asks when the two officers have all gone back to their car. 

“Yes, I am.”

“All right, then we should go,” Benji says.

“Okay,” he answers.

“Let me get my stuff. Be right back.”

When Benji leaves him alone, Victor takes a few steps to the door and studies the broken glass. He takes a huge gulp. The text message he just received reverberates in his mind. 

**:: Don’t tell the cops about our messages. Or else. We could have shot twice. One bullet to break the glass and another to hit the target. And you know who it is meant for. Next time, we won’t miss. ::**

They were kissing when it happened. Victor remembers. If they are that good, then they would not have missed their target. From where Victor was standing, he was covered, well-protected by Benji who was standing facing him while his back to the door, well-exposed. 

_Next time, we won’t miss._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't freak out. Everything will be explained.

“Is everything okay?”

They are on the bed. While Victor lies flat on his back, Benji is straddled on top of him. Their discarded shirts are now lying on the floor like an unneeded accessory. They had been kissing a minute ago—Benji moaning against his lips and grinding his hips against his that Victor found himself getting uncomfortably yet blissfully hard. But when Benji started kissing his neck and Victor had to lean to the side to give him more part of him to explore, it was then when Victor noticed the open window in Benji’s room and triggered the return of the fear he has felt ever since he received that text that threatened Benji’s life. 

Benji’s worried voice calling his name jerks Victor back to the here and now and realizes that he is yet to answer Benji’s question.   
  
Benji touches his cheek; concern spreads on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your window,” Victor finally answers. “Is it always open like that?”

Benji follows his gaze. 

“Are you cold? I can close it for you.”

Victor manages a smile and then pulls him to kiss his lips. Wrapping his arms around Benji’s waist, he flips him to his side. 

“Let me do it.” 

If he can help it, he is not going to let Benji be near any door with glass. Or window in this case. 

He gets up and inches his way toward the window, which to his limited knowledge of carpentry appeared to be made of fiberglass. But can it stop a bullet? Directly across the window is a pink flowering Dogwood tree. If someone would be watching Benji through the window, the tree can block that view. It will also not stop anyone from climbing it. Victor slides the window down and pads back to the waiting arms of his boyfriend who is now staring at him with added concern. 

“You think someone’s watching us?” 

Victor contemplates his answer. Will someone know if he shares the text with Benji? Surely no one can hear their conversation unless… 

The familiar roiling sensation in his gut returns. What if Benji’s room is bugged? Their conversations, the couple of times they made love—these felt like he was skewered by a scanner rod and his inside was exposed. He was already upset for himself, but the thought that this invasion of privacy was also happening or may still be happening to Benji enrages him. 

“Easy there, tiger,” Benji says, pulling him back to the bed. “What’s going on? Tell me.”

Still thinking about what he can share, Victor intentionally takes his time settling back on the bed. He lays on his side facing Benji and reaches up to his hair and runs his hand through it. Strands of hair slide through his fingers, soft and silky. It is a simple gesture, one Victor is so fond of doing that quite often he finds himself wishing he can do it on regular basis, along with waking up with him, of course. 

“Victor?”

Benji’s voice is soft, yet there’s an urgency in it that shatters the serenity of the moment. Victor sighs. He has to say something, anything, if for no other reason than to wipe off the worry on Benji’s face.

“I think what happened earlier has shaken me more than I care to admit,” he says, smiling a little. 

Benji nods his head. 

“Come here.” 

Victor moves closer and nestles his head on Benji’s chest. How is it that despite Victor’s best intention and determination to put the braver face and protect Benji against the evils in this world, it is Victor himself who feels safe and protected? With Benji’s heartbeat comforting him coupled with his hand gently stroking Victor’s back, he feels his eyes drooping, heavy with sleep.

The kiss on his forehead actually wakes him up, but he chooses to keep his eyes closed.

“Hey, you’re mom’s on the phone,” Benji whispers to his ear. “She’s freaking out.”

This does its job. Victor opens his eyes, now fully awake. 

“Why?”

Instead of replying, Benji gives him the phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Dios Mio, Victor, are you alright?” 

The pitch in his mom’s voice startles him a little, shaking off the last fog of sleep left in him. He is fully awake now. His brain is piecing together the words his mom is saying in a half-screaming, half-crying voice. 

“This is why I worried a lot, Oh, Victor, do you think we should move.”

“Wait, what? Move? Why?” 

“What happened in Brasstown made it on this morning’s local news,” Benji answers his confusion. “There’s an emphasis on the shooting.” Benji air-quotes that last word. He ends this not-so-good information with a sweet smile that makes his whole face blush as though someone had repeatedly stroked his cheek. Benji’s hair is also tousled, strands everywhere. This is Benji's normal morning look, Victor discovers. One of the reasons why Victor jumps at every chance for a sleepover. 

Victor sighs. He sighs because last night's event continues to haunt him. He sighs because his mother has reason to fret. He sighs because like his mother, he is freaking worried too. And most of all, he sighs because this is not how he wants his morning to start. 

“Mom, I’m alright.” He climbs out of bed and steps into Benji’s space. Benji immediately wraps his arms around him. “It was just some kid.”

“Some kid with a gun!” Isabel shrieks. 

“We’re not his target,” he lies while his other hand is playing with Benji’s hair, tucking the loose strands behind his ear. “He just wanted to grab some cash but we’re there so.”

“Then stop working there then. It’s dangerous.”

“Mom, please. Having my own income helps me…not worried about…you know…if…”

“Oh, Carino. Don’t you ever think about that. We’ll never kick you out of the house. We love you.”

“Thanks, mom.”

“Can you drop by here at the house on your way to school?”

“We’re going to be running late if we do.” Victor looks to Benji for help. Benji mouths ‘later after school.’ “What about later, this afternoon.”

“Why don’t you ask Benji to sleep here tonight?” his mom offers, which is a first and fills his heart with a warm feeling that he can’t help but smile. 

“Alright, then. I’ll see you later. Take care, both of you.”

“We will, mom. Bye, love you.”

“So?” Benji says, beaming.

“Did you hear it?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“That means, another sleepover,” Victor says, and then he remembers that Benji’s dad is coming home tonight. “But your dad. Will he let you sleep somewhere else though?”

“I’ll leave him a note,” Benji replies before kissing Victor on the lips. 

Victor deepens the kiss and starts maneuvering them back to the bed.

“Victor,” Benji says, half-moaning. “We have no time. We got to get in the shower.” When Victor refuses to move, Benji adds. “We have school, Victor.”

Oh, yeah. School. Victor, for the very first time, finds himself hating school. 

The walk toward Creekwood High gives Victor another perspective of what having a boyfriend means. He can steal a kiss from Benji, anytime. He can pull him toward him for a hug, also anytime. He can ruffle his hair and just laugh at his reaction. Anytime too. Feigning anger looks good on Benji, so Victor wants to see that. Oh, yeah, as often as he can. Yes, he is enjoying being able to do this, teasing Benji and the two of them playful like best friends and boyfriends. Right there out in the open. Until they reach the school when Benji starts to act indifferent, their distance widening, his eyes guarded. 

“Hey,” they both say to each other.

“Go on, you first,” Victor says.

Benji sighs. 

“So I’ll see you later?”

They are still outside of the building, and there are barely any students yet. 

“Well, your classroom is not that far from mine. I can walk you there.”

Benji raises his brow, looking as though Victor just told him he would buy him a puppy. He would though if he can afford one, so why is Benji is looking suspicious? Then as though a fairy hits him in the head, he realizes the reason behind the sudden change in Benji’s demeanor starting from that very moment the school building came into view. 

Yeah, right. Victor is still not out, and no one other than his friends knows that Benji is his boyfriend. 

“Hey, Victor!” Felix hollers from behind him. 

“Alright, I’ll see you then,” Benji says with a hint of a smile before he sprints toward the building, leaving Victor mulling over this conflicting feeling of wanting to kiss Benji in public and at the same time not wanting the people to know. To know what? That he is gay? But he is.

“Hey, Victor,” Felix says, falling into step beside him. “I didn’t know you didn’t sleep at your house last night. I went there, knocked at the door, and then your mom said you were with Benji.”

“Yes, I was,” he answers. “You didn’t wait at the door long, right?”

“Oh, just about 15 minutes.”

“You waited for 15 minutes at the door?”

“I waited 15 minutes before I knocked. I was there for another 15 minutes.”

“Felix, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything, Victor, just not a heart donation. I still need it.”

“Yeah, just that…next time, please do not wait for 15 minutes to knock. Just knock right away and we’ll open the door for you.”

“Oh, Victor, it's not me doing you a favor. It's actually you doing me a favor," Felix says, looking sincerely excited about it. “And I'll be happy to oblige."

“That’s settled then,” he says, and they both enter their classroom.

Thirty minutes later, just when their teacher finally decides that she has enough of the talking and proceeds to sit in her chair, everybody’s phone starts beeping.

“I’m now making a new rule. No phone is allowed in the classroom,” their teacher says.

Since Victor has been sending text messages to Benji the whole time his teacher was lecturing, it would be hypocritical to say he agrees to the teacher’s phone ban. At least that is where he stands on that issue until he hears his classmates murmuring Creekwood Secrets.

Victor takes a deep sigh. What is it this time? He flips the screen back to his inbox and clicks the Creekwood text message. 

**:: Who kissed Benji Campbell? Come out, come out whoever you are.::**

  
Victor’s heart skips a beat. He looks up, thinking everybody in the class now knows about him and Benji. To his surprise, however, none of them are looking at him. Except for Felix and Lake whose faces mirror the same concern. For him? Victor realizes that he can’t hide this forever. He loves Benji, and he is not ashamed to be seen as his boyfriend. And if this is what it takes to kiss his boyfriend in public, then Victor is ready to come out. 

“Victor,” Felix whispers. “I’m sorry.”

Courage blossoms in Victor’s heart. 

“I’m okay, Felix. I’m ready.”

Victor clicks the link in the text message. And just like before, it leads him to Creek Secret Instagram account. 

He thinks he is ready? 

Well, he is wrong. 

He is not ready for this. 

Not with this secret. 

For right there on his phone screen, Benji is photographed kissing a boy. 

But it is not Victor.

It’s freaking Andrew Spencer.


	6. Madness

_He is two years younger than me, the little Circe who can turn a man into an animal through his kiss. Disgusting. But I was in too deep that his enchantment had strengthened around me like an invisible rope that made me follow him around like an obedient dog. I did not know what was happening to me then. I just thought that I was in love. The guilt I felt about it?. It should have been a clue as to what it truly was: sickness, disease of mind and heart, evil. I was beyond redemption._

_Or so I thought._

_Let me tell you how we first met. It was at a party after winning a game against Lakewood High. Being the quarterback, I was very popular with the girls and the boys. The girls threw themselves at me and the boys worshiped the ground I walked on. I liked the attention. It was like being high without the drugs._

_The party had no parental supervision and lots of alcohol. I couldn’t remember where it was held, but I remember the living room was huge. Adjacent to it was an indoor pool. The light in the room was soft, not enough to dispel the shadows around the periphery, but enough to get it reflected in the water like sparkling diamonds. He was there. He was in the water, doing his laps. I remembered admiring how good he was compared to me and wondering whether he was a school athlete. He must be. He swam like he was a water creature._

_I remember so vividly when he finally stepped out of the water, wearing nothing but his swimming trunks. He strutted toward me in slow motion while I looked on with a feeling of awe and wonderment. As he neared, my feet were rooted to the ground. My stomach was tight. My heart was pounding in my chest. My mouth hung open. And my eyes. Oh, my eyes were glued to him, transfixed, as though hypnotized._

_Around us, time stood still._

_Had I known what he was then, I would have done everything within my power to snap out of that trance. He was good at his seductive power, I gave him that. Mere mortals like me would have to fight for their lives to resist such powerful enchantment, and even then our lives may not be enough. But losing my life would have been better, better than surrendering myself to my bestial instinct. The grotesque. The aberration. The sin._

_I remember so vividly how he looked at me. His eyes were glistening as though they had powers to suck me in. His lips were inviting, possessing a magnetic power that drew me toward him. I was powerless._

_After that, I lost track of any awareness. The next thing I knew was that he was in my arms, and I was kissing him like an alcoholic man who had not drunk for long and, at that time, was given the best wine he had ever tasted in life, quenching his thirst yet still wanting more. More. I remember a voice within me saying. My body craving. More._

_And then I heard the crack._

_It was my soul._

_And I?_

_I descended into the darkness._

_Had my brother not rescued me from his clutch and his sorcery, I would have continued to live in that state while my soul was being eaten from the inside._

_My road to recovery was hard and filled with pains. It was full of hallucinations, cravings. But I beat that. I beat all these demons that came to haunt me, to make me long for his presence. And I’m very confident that you will beat them too._

_You see, Victor, I wrote this to make you understand that I had gone through that same ordeal. You think now that it’s what you want? That he is what you want? That being with him is like tasting heavens. I felt that too. But know this. Those are nothing but illusions. He carried a disease that could turn a man into their basest form, the beast that we had evolved from. My therapist told me that we all had that in us, but it was being locked because we are no longer animals. We can fight it. We can lock it back in, never to open again. It is not meant to be open, for it is not who we are._

_It’s not too late yet for you, Victor, as it had never been too late for me. And now that I’m fully healed, I would not let a single man to ever experience what I had gone through._

_I will send him back to hell where he came from._

_Love,_

_Creek Secrets_


	7. Chapter 7

_Dear Simon_

Victor furiously starts his message in the DM box. His mind is bustling with words that will put a sailor to shame. _Grrr._ He continues, but quickly erases it and replaces it with excessive angry emojis. 

_I’m in the class writing this. My nerves are shot and I’m hoping writing to you right now will help me forget that we still have a few more minutes before the bell rings. Oh, I can’t wait to get out of this classroom, find Andrew and punch him in the face for kissing Benji._

Victor glances at the time on his phone and adds: 

_Two minutes to go. Love, Victor._

He hits send and slides his phone back into his pocket. His gut remains tight; his chest, heavy. He really tries to calm himself down, but he can’t. He can’t stop his hand from tapping on the desk nor stop his knee from bouncing up and down. Small mercy that he is not making that loud of a noise, not getting the class’ attention, though he could feel Felix, sitting beside him, glances his way many times with a worried face. With this amount of tension building inside him, he will surely explode if he doesn’t get up any minute now. If he is to explode though, he would want it to happen while he is standing right in front of Andrew what-his-face so he can inflict maximum damage. _Boom_. Right to his face. 

A couple more seconds, the lunch bell goes off. Victor gets up almost knocking his own chair down, intending to be the first one to get out of there. 

But Mia beats him to it. 

The hallway is teeming with students walking in a group huddled together, laughing, snickering. ‘ _Andrew and Benji kissing’_ comes out of their mouths quite often and loud enough for Victor to hear, which does nothing but fans his agitated self. 

The ground seems to burst open and hell rages out of it as his entire body seethes when finally Victor finds Andrew who looks to be heading his way. So much better. 

At seeing him, Andrew shakes his head as though annoyed. The nerve of this guy. 

“I don’t have time for your jealousy, Salazar. Where’s Mia?” Andrew asks the moment he is within earshot.

“You got no time for me. But I bet you have so much time kissing my boyfriend!”

The event happens so fast that Victor does not seem to be fully aware that he raises his fist and connects it to Andrew’s face. His knuckles sting from the heaviness of the impact, the sensation that snaps him back to what is going on—him standing in the hallway staring at Andrew who is nursing his left cheek, pain visible on his face. He had caused this. He knows and regrets it immediately though he is still too upset to apologize. His return to self-awareness widens further to who else is there: Felix standing a good few feet from him, his mouth hanging open as if he just witnessed Victor perform a magical feat. Victor would have laughed if he were not confused himself. Then he starts to notice that the people gazing at him wear the same expression. Shocked and dumbfounded. 

And amid this stunned silence, a voice pierces through: 

“Wow. Victor. Is. Gay.”

This.

A realization slaps him in the face that he is now out to the whole school. And no one did it for him. Not Creek Secrets. Not Andrew. Just him. 

Victor.

He outed himself. 

* * * 

  
Two-day suspension. 

Feeling like the entire world is crumbling around him, Victor gets up and walks toward the door.

“Don’t forget to close it,” the principal says without looking up from what he is writing.

He nods and does what he has been told to do while contemplating how he is going to explain it to his parents. As he is stepping out of the principal’s office, he finds Andrew waiting for him at the foyer. 

“We need to talk,” Andrew says.

Victor stares at him, his whole body still itching for further confrontation though he does not have much energy left to go through with it. The bruise in Andrew’s cheek, however, gives him an unwitting satisfaction. 

“Now you have time to talk.”

Andrew takes a deep breath. 

“Salazar, I can punch you back right—”

“No, you won’t!” Mrs. Albright interrupts, coming out of nowhere. Victor has not noticed her joining them. 

“Yes, I’ll be good, Mrs. Albright. I promise.” To Victor, he says, “let’s get out of here.”

They walk down the hallway and outside of the school building in silence. When they reach the parking lot, Andrew halts them and turns to him. 

“Have you talked with Benji?” 

Benji. Victor has not even thought about texting or calling him. He should have, right? He probably should have asked him about the kiss before he went and punched Andrew. Would it be any different? 

“No,” he answers. “Not yet.”

Andrew frowns. 

“Did you take a good look at the picture?”

“Just enough to know what you two were doing.”

Andrew sighs and continues walking. 

“Follow me to my car. Let’s go to Brasstown.”

“Thanks,” he answers. “I’ll rather walk.”

Andrew turns around and faces him.

“I don’t really have time for this. I need to talk to Mia. So if we can settle this one fast, I would really appreciate it.”

“Settle, you mean—”

“No fighting. Seriously, Victor.” Andrew pauses and fishes his phone out of his jacket. “Look closely.”

Victor is scared to look. He eyes Andrew with suspicion. Is he going to gloat? 

“Don’t I look younger in here?”

Curious, Victor studies the picture on the phone. Andrew does look different, younger, and a little leaner.

“And look at Benji.” 

Victor hears the amusement in Andrew’s voice. A hint of…Fondness? He tries not to read more into it. He peers closely at the picture and this time he focuses on Benji. He does look younger. His hair a little longer, mussy, and wild as though someone ruffled it. The knot resurfaces in his gut. Not now. He tells himself. He has to be able to control his emotion. Back to Benji, he notices that Benji’s eyes appear to be in a daze.

“He looked drunk,” he says in a voice of a man who starts to see hope.

“He was, pretty wasted,” Andrew replies. He holds Victor’s gaze. “It’s just a game, Salazar. Nothing to it. But if I have to force a recollection about this event, then Benji will have to be with us for it. Call him and tell him to meet us at Brasstown. He’s good at sneaking out of school, so he might as well use that skill now.”

Victor dials Benji’s number and presses call. It rings a few times before the call goes to voice-mail. He leaves a message and then a text. 

Victor watches Andrew’s retreating figure. A game. His mind rumbles. Maybe it’s a drinking game and either Andrew or Benji lost and so they had to kiss. Whatever it is, there is a story behind it. And whether he wants to hear it or not, he is left with no other choice. Determined to get to the bottom of it, he takes a deep sigh before he follows Andrew to his car. 

In his pocket, his phone vibrates.

* * * 

_Dear Victor,_

_I think you need to ask Benji first and get the whole story before you punch Andrew. This way you will know for sure how hard you can punch him. And by the way, who is Andrew?_  
_Another thing. I’ve been meaning to ask you this but kept on forgetting. Does Benji’s last name happen to be Campbell? If he is, indeed, a Campbell, I think there is something you should know._

_Love,_  
_Simon_


	8. The Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patience.

  
**More than a year ago in the past…**

Dear Simon,

He started following me around. At every party I went to, he was there. He had that certain look he gave me. It was not so much on how his eyes seemed to darken with passion, but it was more on what it made me feel like he was only seeing me while everybody around us seemed to disappear. It gave me an Adrenaline rush. It made my heart beat faster. It made my face flush with heat, and my stomach heavy, tight. Rock-hard.

  
I know you’re thinking how I’m just being dramatic, that I was just merely exaggerating what it really was: a horny me, so excited to get rid of my virginity. However way you say it, however way you describe it, you cannot dismiss the fact that to me it was real. It was love. 

  
So what if I kept us a secret? So what if in the end, I got tired of it? In my mind and in my heart, we were together. And what happened at the party, what you’ve heard about it, was not entirely true. 

  
* * *  
* * *

**Sometime in the past**

_He was holding a red cup filled with alcohol, but he only took a couple of sips. The party did not particularly bore him as it was as he predicted it to be—loud, crowded, and full of hormonal teenagers who had so much sugar to burn. He danced to a couple of songs, laughed, smiled, and waved his cup looking like he was intoxicated though he was as sober as a man on his 90th day in rehab. Yet the party still felt like a letdown._

_Maybe he needed something like grabbing one of those cheerleaders for a quickie. Maybe it would improve his mood? Increase his excitement? Or maybe it was because a certain someone was yet to arrive. This realization came to light only after seeing this same someone walking in the door. Although he looked already tipsy, Benji Campbell never failed to make his pulse pound wildly._

_"Hey, what’s up, Ian,” Benji said, smiling at him._

_The coyness in the smile gave him instant alertness and awakening in his pants._

_“_ _Hey, Benji,” he said in the most nonchalant voice he could muster._

_He did not like the pretense that in public they were nothing more but casual friends. Regretfully, it was he who wrote and enforced the rule. It was he who wanted them to be kept as a secret. He had convinced himself that it was because he had a girlfriend and that he did not want to hurt her, nor lose her. But it was a lie. The truth, on the other hand, was something he did not want to uncover._

_Benji nodded and made his way toward the table where the drinks were set up. Still holding the cup in his hand, he followed him with his gaze like a hawk to a prey. He did not know how long he was watching him, but it was long enough to know how many of those red cups Benji emptied. Getting drunk tonight seemed to be Benji’s purpose. He wanted to intervene, to approach him, and get that damn cup out of his hand. He was contemplating it, thinking about it. But whether or not he would actually do it ceased to matter when someone else made that decision for him. Benji swayed and another guy swooped in to save him from falling on his ass._

_Ian’s expression darkened as he continued to watch. Benji leaned closer toward his rescuer, giving him that flirty smile. Then this same guy put his arm around Benji and touched his cheek. Ian had enough. He clenched his fists and poised to walk toward them when a pat on his shoulder stopped him._

_He turned around._

_“What?”_

_It was his friend, Jeffrey._

_"Easy, dude. What’s got into you?”_

_Yes, he’d admit that his desire for Benji roused the violent part of him._

_“Nothing,” he said as he reined in his anger._

_As it turned out, Jeffrey was sent by Stacy, Ian’s girlfriend, to get him to join them in their stupid spin the bottle game._

_They sat in a circle, five girls and four boys. Stacy was calling all the shots for this._

_The rule was simple: spin the bottle and whoever was the person the bottle pointed would be asked the question: Truth or Dare._

_“_ _Wait a minute," his buddy Jeffrey said. “Why do we have juniors with us? I don’t recall a group text talking about running a charity case drive.”_

_“They’re sophomores,” Stacy answered._

_"Even worst.”_

_Stacy crawled onto his lap to get closer to Jeffrey who was sitting next to him and then whispered something in Jeffrey’s ear._

_It was barely audible, but he knew what it was. Stacy was losing her popularity votes to her greatest rival Jennifer Lacy screwing her chance of being chosen as the prom queen. Jennifer’s rise to popularity was due to this one freshman who wrote an article on Creek Secrets. The article talked about how Jennifer deserved the crown as she was a good role model to the younger ones. Blah, blah, blah._

_Stacy was pissed and wanted revenge, and she found this opportunity in one of the two sophomores she brought in their midst. His name was Andrew Spencer. Stacy received some information about this Creek Secret writer crushing on this Andrew, and them two were getting awfully close. He did not really care about gossips like this, but Stacy was relentless in her pursuit to ruin her rival and whoever else in her way. Whatever Stacy wanted, Stacy would get. Grudgingly, Jeffrey gave in._

_“This is fun, y’all, but you know what’ll make it better?”_

_“Getting rid of these two?” Jeffrey drunkenly answered._

_“Nah, Jeffrey, they’re necessary ingredients,” Stacy said. “But…to make it spicier, we need one more boy to join us. So who should that be?” Her voice was high-pitched. Giddy._

_She looked in the direction of her best friend, Abby, who responded with an evil grin._

_“Oh, what about Rayleigh?” Jeffrey said, looking excited. “I just have this idea for a kind of dare I’m gonna ask him.”_

_Rayleigh was the lineman on the team. Big guy. Always serious. And Jeffrey wanted to prank him so badly._

_Stacy laughed. “We have someone better.”_

_Ian did not really know what Stacy’s plan was. But what he heard was that she had plenty of back-up plans to cover all bases. If the first one wouldn’t work, then they would move on to Plan B._

_Abby stood up, saying. “I shall go then and fetch our fifth boy.”_

_When Abby returned, Ian was unable to stop himself. He growled. She was dragging Benji by the arm like she owned him. Oh, no. ‘You don’t.’ This boy was his._

_He struggled to keep his hands from grabbing Abby himself and rip her hands off his boy. He was beyond agitated. Yet luckily no one noticed. He got up._

_“Where are you going?” Jeffrey asked._

_“None of your business!” he yelled at him and walked toward the bathroom._

_He was calm when he came back. His boy was sitting between Stacy and Abby and was already in the process of charming the pants off them while also looking very, very drunk, giggling randomly._

_Jeffrey turned to him and whispered._

_"So this is their plan? Get Campbell to their side to win over all his freshmen admirers? Simple, but neat.”_

_Jeffrey did not know Stacy the way he knew her. Her brain was incapable of scheming something simple. She wanted the intricacy, the grandiosity, the full-on drama. It did not help that Jeffrey was fucking oblivious. This flaw of his made him easy prey._

_He could tell that Benji got to him too just by the way he was staring at him: eyes sparkling with curiosity verging on sinful desire. Lust._

_Ian knew what it was as he experienced it himself. The throbbing in his pants. The sudden breathlessness. The tightening in his gut. And the extreme urge to pull him to him and squeeze him and fuck him. Yes, Benji was such a temptation._

_And so the game started and the bottle was spun. After a few spins, Stacy’s chance came. The bottle stopped, pointing right at this Andrew._

_“Truth or Dare?” Stacy said, looking excited._

_Andrew smirked and answered, “Truth!”_

_“Boo!” Stacy taunted._

_“Boo!” Abby mimicked._

_“Okay, okay,” Andrew said, looking defeated yet delirious at all the attention he was getting. “Dare!”_

_Stacy turned to Ian and winked before shifting her gaze back to Andrew._

_“I want you, Andrew, to kiss,” she said, and then pointing at Benji, she grinned. “him.”_

_Andrew looked surprised._

_“No, no, no,” he said, shaking his head._

_But Stacy was adamant._

_“What’s the matter? Are you scared people would think you’re gay?”_

_“I’m not gay,” Andrew replied._

_“How do you know it if you haven’t kissed a boy?” Stacy said. “Show us, that after the kiss, you’re still straight.”_

_In the end, Andrew relented. He took a deep breath and kissed Benji._

_Then everything there turned blurry. Did he punch Andrew after that? Ian could not remember._

_He had no recollection of when he left the group, of when he climbed the stairs and went into a room, and what he did inside. But this turned out to be irrelevant in the grand scheme of_ _things. For what he could not remember, everything he did, everything he thought he had forgotten and had been erased in his memory, was captured on video._

_A week passed this same video found its way into his father’s hand._

  
  
* * *  
* * *

  
And you of all people should know that dad is only doing all of this legal thing because he cannot accept the truth that his son would willingly sleep with a man.

I may be drunk and unconscious, but I gave my consent to him. So I’m begging you, Simon, leave me the fuck alone.

It was not rape!

Love,

B


	9. Chapter 9

** Chapter Nine **

“I need another cup.” Andrew shoves the empty cup toward Victor. “Venti.” 

Victor glares at him, thinking of the reason why he shouldn’t just punch Andrew again. The logical part of him, however, knows what the other boy is doing. 

“You’re stalling.” 

“Yes, I am,” Andrew answers matter-of-factly, looking least concerned with Victor’s growing impatience.

Victor frowns, not liking this a bit. He has had a few ideas—a couple of them got scrapped upon inception—about how to spend his suspension, and none of them is about wasting his time with Andrew. 

“Are you waiting for something else?”

“Not for something.” Andrew leans over the table. “But someone.”

For whatever reason, Victor instantly knows who this someone is. 

“Benji?”

Andrew rolls his eyes. 

“Oh, come on. Don’t get riled up now. You have to understand that Benji must be part of this conversation.” He stops and makes a quick glance at his phone. “So if I were you, I might call him again and if he doesn’t answer then maybe you should start getting worried because that’s what boyfriends do.”

As if on cue, Victor’s heart picks up a pace as he starts thinking about all those messages he received. 

“Someone…” he starts saying. Maybe he can share this with Andrew? Maybe Andrew knows what to do? Maybe he can help? 

Say it. 

His mouth freezes instead. 

“I’m not saying, you should start panicking now. I was just—”

“Andrew, someone—” Victor pauses, realizing where they are. If he says anything to anyone, he will…they…say not to tell anyone. What if…

Andrew lowers his voice. “Fucking breathe.”

Right. Victor breathes. Deep breath. Then exhale. 

Andrew leans over the table. 

“What’s going on?” 

He has to give it to Andrew. The dude looks sincerely worried about him. Victor glances around the room. Most customers inside Brasstown are engaged in their own respective conversations. No one seems to be listening to them. None look like they have a gun. Right. They could be hiding it somewhere. What scares him more about his situation is that it can be anyone. Anywhere. 

He gazes back at Andrew. “Not in here.”

Andrew leans back in his chair and wrinkles his brow, not breaking eye contact. 

“Ok, so why don’t you get that coffee while we await your boyfriend’s arrival?”

Grudgingly, Victor gets up, gives Andrew a middle finger, and proceeds to get him that coffee. He returns a few minutes later with two cups of coffee in his hands. He gives one to Andrew who smirks at him in return. 

“Your phone rang.”

Victor instinctively picks it up on the table. He checks the miscall log and sure enough, Simon’s call registered.

“I didn’t know you and Benji are that serious.”

“What?” 

“Dude, Simon’s calling you? Well that, if it’s the same Simon I have in mind.”

Victor frowns. What the heck is Andrew talking about? 

“You answered the call.”

“No, I didn’t. Simon’s name popped up on your phone screen.”

The sense of familiarity is evident in Andrew’s voice.

“So you know Simon Spier?”

Andrew’s face lights up. 

“Oh, so I guessed it right. You’re on Simon Spier‘s contact list.” 

He then takes a sip of his coffee so calmly, as if he were merely telling Victor about the weather and not something that renders Victor befuddled. Victor is about to demand a thorough explanation when his phone rings. Simon is once again calling. Maybe this one can help him out.

“Victor, glad you answered,” Simon says on the other end.

“I’m glad you called back.”

“Listen, about the last message I sent you. Don’t mention it to Benji, or rather don’t mention us, our, you know, communication.”

Wait. 

Wait. 

Wait. 

Victor’s frown deepens. Clearly, he has not read that message.

“Ok, I think I’m confused because I haven’t read that message. Yet. Hang on, let me check my inbox.”

“Go ahead, but let me just hang up. I’ll explain it in person. I’ll be there over the weekend.”

“Here?”

“Yes, I’ll be visiting my mom. I’ll call you when I get there. Bye”

Victor stares at his phone, more perplexed than ever. He opens his inbox and reads Simon’s message. 

Oh. 

“Are you okay?” Andrew asks and drinks whatever remains of his coffee. 

“Unbelievable,” he answers. 

“What is?”

“My life.”

Andrew puts his cup down and holds Victor’s gaze. 

“Oh. Am I supposed to agree to that?”

Victor weighs in the question to ask, and then decides to ‘screw’ it.

“What do you know about Benji and Simon?”

Andrew raises his eyebrows. 

“Benji did not introduce you to Simon?”

“No? I’ve been in communication with Simon long before Benji and me—”

“Screwed,” Andrew says, finishing his statement for him. Victor’s face reddens. Andrew chuckles. “Well, you’re both—”

Crossing his arms on his chest, Victor cuts in. “None of your business, Andrew.” 

Andrew mimics his gesture. “Since you put it that way. Your question about Benji and Simon is, I’m pretty sure, none of my business too.” Glancing toward the door, Andrew adds, “Here he comes. Why don’t you ask him himself?”

Victor follows his gaze and sure enough, there goes Benji walking toward them. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

Victor moves to the side to give Benji room to sit beside him. Benji leans in and kisses him on the cheek. Victor stiffens. His reaction confuses the hell out of him too. He thinks maybe because he was caught off-guard. Then when this thing is settled in his mind, there comes a whiny-ass question popping in like a petulant attention-whore kid. Why didn’t Benji kiss him on the lips? 

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” Benji says, looking non-apologetic at all. “It just feels natural, and besides it always gives me pleasure to make Andrew jealous.”

“Oh, yeah?” Andrew replies. Glaring at Benji, he continues, “This is me jealous.”

“Ah, not a good look. You can now go back to your default bitch-face with a blend of an asshole-y smirk.”

“You’re awfully looking cheery, Campbell, for someone who was supposed to be caught cheating on his boyfriend.”

Victor catches the change in Benji’s expression from looking like he got slapped in the face to being on a receiving end of a marriage proposal. Victor realizes it’s his turn to say something. 

“I tried calling you many times. You’re not picking up.”

“My phone died,” Benji answers. “So this is about what Lucy told me about you two,” he chuckles, “fighting over me?” 

“Well, your boyfriend needs to get an elective in Anger Management.”

Benji turns to him. “Why?”

Victor scoffs. “Why? Maybe because I’m jealous?” Victor has to admit, he does sound entitled. Perhaps, Andrew was right? Does High School have an Anger Management elective? 

“What did I do?” 

The genuine confusion on Benji’s face confuses Victor too. 

“You don’t really have any idea, don’t you?” Andrew says. 

Looking as though he’s just been hit by a sudden wave of realization, Benji replies, “So those words about slut and home-wrecker I heard muttered when I was in the hallway were actually meant for me? Oh, well, what else is new?”

Victor feels like he got sucker-punched. Benji does not deserve this and, though may look nonchalant, Victor knows his boyfriend is more affected than he lets on. He covers Benji’s hand with his. Benji gives him a sad smile. 

Andrew clears his throat. 

“Maybe it’s time I explain about how the picture got taken?”

Benji narrows his eyes on him. “What picture?”

Victor scrolls his gallery to find the picture, but Andrew beats him to it. 

“Here.”

Andrew reaches over the table to show Benji the picture of them kissing. Victor grimaces. Although he tried otherwise, he really can’t honestly look at the picture without getting mad. 

Benji turns to face Victor. 

“Victor, I don’t know about this.”

“This was taken last year,” Andrew explains. “We’re playing spin the bottle and when the bottle stopped pointing in your direction, they teased me to kiss you.” 

“And you did?” Benji asks, incredulous.

Andrew shrugs.

“And I did.”

“But why did I kiss you back?”

Andrew huffs. “Well, of course, because I’m Andrew Spencer. This face is irresistible.”

Victor can’t help but smile watching Andrew get offended. He studies Benji’s face as his lover runs his hand through his glorious hair. Victor envies the gesture as he wants to do it himself. Back to the main issue in hand, Benji does look like a person who got pulled out of his own reality and is now living in a parallel one. He cringes inward at such reference. He vows not to watch Twilight Zone again. 

“You don’t seriously remember it?” Andrew asks.

“Do I look like I’m gonna lie to that when you have the evidence in your hand?”

“Well, we actually did more than a kiss,” Andrew answers,” You’re my first.”

Victor hears a loud pounding in his ears. 

“I’m joking!” Andrew quickly says, his voice thundering inside the shop. “Sorry,” he says to the curious audience. “I got carried away.” To them, he adds, “Dude, the look on both of your faces…it’s hilarious.”

“Oh, well…” Benji starts.

“Don’t give me that mama joke.”

“I slept—”

“Don’t, don’t joke about my mama.”

“With your dad.”

Andrew rolls his eyes. Then all suddenly he starts chuckling again. “You two still…funny.”

To Victor’s complete surprise, Benji gets up, reaches over the table, and pushes Andrew hard in his chair.

“Alright, alright,” Andrew says, trying to get a semblance of calmness. “Geez, you’re more violent than your boyfriend here.”

Benji scowls. This exchange surprisingly amuses Victor. But it still does not make sense why Benji is not remembering this incident. While watching his lover, Victor instinctively holds his phone tight. Simon’s cryptic message burns within him. 

“So, Benji,” Andrew starts.“How’s Simon?”

Victor kicks Andrew under the table. Andrew throws him a warning gaze before he turns his attention back to Benji.

“What’s up with this random question?”

Andrew props his elbow on the table, resting his chin on his palm, and says, “Well, he was there when the kiss happened.”


End file.
